New newspaper? Future mayhem?

(Pookie: Hwi! Pookie here! I've come to tell you about my super duper salad!) Ok pookie... That's not even on topic so... I guess I'll just make this post. Recently the mailman came by and dropped a piece of paper covered with ink on my front doorstep. It's what is called a newspaper. This "newspaper" said some information about (pookie: super salads!) the future on it. Here are some pictures.